.: archives :.
 
 
Tuesday, February 25, 2003

Fuck Bush!  Where does he get off pushing other countries around, acting as if he were so righteous that he didn't need any approval for his actions?  Despite numerous outcries  from the international community and protests from the very population he's supposed to represent, he's acting as if everyone's deranged and he's the only one that can see clearly!  Last I heard, we live in a Democracy, not a Tyranny!  No wonder the United States is so despised overseas.  Frankly, I doubt he'd be in such a rush to get into this war if he himself had to fight it or one of his loved ones had to put their lives at risk.  F*ck Bush!

Enough of that.  Let me move onto something more light hearted.  I finally got to see My Big Fat Greek Wedding over the weekend.    It was hilarious!  There were so many scenes that just had me laughing out loud, and it was even more funny because it so reminded me of the Asian family structure as well.  I swear, if my sister were to bring home a none Asian, that's he'd be seeing my family!  Plus, I'd probably be the one making fun of him and feeding him phony lines.

Don't let your past dictate who you are, but let it be a part of who you'll become.  That was a line from the movie that I thought was totally endearing.  One of the things that I'm still looking for in a girl is that mix of traditional Vietnamese culture and the modern American Culture.  I'm neither a FOB nor a Twinkie, so I don't really want my girl to be either =)  But I guess when it all comes down to it, I'm still looking for that special someone out there that just makes me feel wonderful when I'm with her... nothing more, nothing less.
Thursday, February 20, 2003
I'm having a huge case of senioritis!  All throughout the day, I found myself unable to concentrate.  What's worse is that as I sat in class, I kept day dreaming about getting out and going home.  It's the fifth week of the semester, a third of the way through, and I've yet to start on any of my work!  I better step it up cuz my first big project is due on Tuesday and the first round of midterms are approaching.  Hahah, despite all that, I'm not in the mood to do anything right now except go to sleep!

I was talking with my friend and she was telling me how her brother had just broken up with his long time girlfriend.  Apparently after going out for years, they broke up because he wasn't sure that he wanted any kids.  Ever.  I thought I was very sad.  Here I am looking for a really nice girl to possibly spend the rest of my life with, unable to find anyone close to being a possibility, and all the while there are great girls out there that are with the wrong guys and they don't even know it!  Yet another reason why nice guys end up last. =P

I've been thinking of setting up my own domain name.  Any suggestions?  Insomniacthoughts.com?  Vietblog.com?  Vhle.com?  Or how about the all loveable WheresMyLove.com?  Corny yes but it's late and I'm out of brain cells!  I could always team up with M and go with AsianPetShopBoys.com hehehe!  I'm out =)
Wednesday, February 19, 2003
I signed up for the Comprehensive Exams today.    April 25th... I'm getting nervous!  My friends were telling me that people who just graduated with a Masters got starting salaries over 70k.  Can you believe that?  But I doubt I'll ever be that lucky.

Teaching others is a really hard thing!  I got really frustrated with one of my classes today.  As the professor was going over the program design, I was watching this guy that always irritates the living shit out of me.  This is the guy that never thinks for himself and always yells my name asking for help, as if I were meant to be there just to baby him through every step.  He was off on his own thing, probably browsing the web, and not paying attention to a word she was saying.  Anyway, as predicted, the minute that the professor finished lecturing and I was walking around aiding students, his hand went up and I hear him yell "Vu!"  Answering his beck and call, I walked over and just looked at him.  He looked up at me and smirked and said "I don't know what to do" as he pointed to an empty screen with that had barely anything coherent.  I stared him in the eye and asked him if he heard a single word she said... if he was even paying attention?  And guess what he said?  The dumb f*ck had the audacity to giggle and say "No."  That pushed me over the edge and I just lost it!

I told him that he never ever pays attention and that it's his own fault for not understanding the assignment, especially  when the professor had just completely walked through what was needed to be done on the board.  Her instructions were still wet when his hand went up to call my name!  I said that he needs to pay attention because I wasn't there to walk him through everything.  And then I just walked off.

Now was that too harsh?  Frankly, I don't think I was hard enough.  I've had this guy before last semester, when he was already a slacker.  He often missed class and then complained about not knowing the way to do things.  In the end he dropped out and I was hoping that was the last that I would see of him.  Unfortunately he's in my class again!  And the only factor that kept from completely making a scene was that the professor I'm aiding is new and I didn't want her to feel bad.  Seeing her student completely oblivious to her would only hurt her newly found enthusiasm and I didn't want that to happen to such a nice lady.

Anyway, I was feeling kinda pissed so I decided to take a breather.  I felt better as I talked to other students and saw that they were really into what they were doing.  I don't care if you're lazy.  Just don't be lazy and expect to be able to do the work.  I mean come on, if you don't pay attention in class, who's to blame if you f*ck up?  I'd rather give my time and effort to those who try and still don't understand.

As I was helping, in comes the Big D.  The perv.  The technician that I say is a complete pervert that roams the halls in my department, not doing any work but scoping out the girls instead.  He must be really sad that L is not in school anymore!  =)  At least I don't have to put up with his 10 minute staring sessions of her anymore!  Anyway, he walked through and you know what happened?  He actually checked out the teacher!  He pretended to be fixing the printer but I saw his eyes, and those beady little things were aimed straight at her!  How sickening!  That guy has no morals!  Later on in the day, his posse came into the lab and made so much noise that I thought my head was gonna burst!  Can you picture it?  Big D, the leader of the PPP... Pathetic Perverted Posse...
Tuesday, February 18, 2003

I officially turned 25 today!  To think, I've been on this planet for a quarter of a century.  Sounds quite funny doesn't it?  Anyway, I just wanted to thank all those who sent me warm wishes!  So how did I spend the day and what did I get?  First off, I was stuck at school and didn't get home until 10!  Doesn't that just suck?  But it was ok, cuz at school, E kept me company and made me laugh as usual!  And later during my four hour gap, Mei came and we went out to grab some grub.  I haven't seen her since Christmas so it was kewl just chilling with her.  As for my other friends, I'm supposed to grab some lunch with my school buddies over the next couple of days, and on Friday night, it's sushi time with M, J, and D.  That's what I'm looking forward too, I love sushi!  Japanese =)

What about gifts you say?  I got a lot of birthday well wishes, dedications, and cards both electronic and normal.  Definitely brightened up my day!  And among gifts that I've already received were money, which is always good, clothes, a Jamba Juice gift card and  something that's been on my mind for quite some time =) 

 

Yesterday is History
Tomorrow Is A Mystery
And Today
Today Is A Gift
That's Why We Call It "The Present"

- a quote I read in 1998
 

I feel like I've hit a milestone in my life.  It's funny when I sit and think of how my life has passed me by.  I've always been the youngest in my circle of friends.  When I was younger, I was in such a rush to grow up.  But now that I'm older, I look back and yearn for my youth.  Both memories and dreams can be very powerful, so that you forget to live your life in the present.  I wouldn't change the course of my life because all the good and all the bad have added up to make the person that I am today.  All that I appreciate and love is a result of all that I've learned and all that I've been through.  Here's to another unknown year ahead!  =)
Monday, February 17, 2003
I was woken up this morning to such a sweet sound.  Too bad I had to rush off to school so that I couldn't really enjoy it!  Can you believe that on President's Day, a holiday which is nationally recognized, I have to be stuck in class?  For some odd reason, my school chose to observe the occasion last Friday on Valentine's Day, which ended up being worthless because I don't normally have class on Friday anyway.  Oh well.  Hope you all had an awesome V-Day.  Tell me about some of your experiences!  As for me, I didn't do much.  Just chose to hang out with the guys and ended up watching Daredevil which I thought was only ok. 

In honor of Valentine's Day, let's take a look at relationships.  How many of you have broken up with someone but still remain really good friends with them?  I make it an effort to try and remain friends, and in the case of both my ex's, I still talk to the first once in a while and the later quite often.  I wonder why I try sometimes though.  I mean if you get fired from work, you don't come back in once in a while to pour the boss coffee right? 

 
I guess I bash on girls a lot so let me admit how a lot of guys out there are no good players too.  In particular, guys that are interested but don't know how to act in front of the ex-boyfriend or other guy friends.  This one time, I was hanging out with my ex and a few of our friends.  This new guy was there and you know how it is when you're new, you always try to be nice and blend in.  Anyway, when the girls were away at the bathroom, he nonchalantly asked me if me and her were dating, to which I casually replied no.  I didn't expand on it anymore, nor question it, but I knew his real purpose.  And to me, it seemed like his eyes lit up.  Needless to say, when she came back, he was all hitting her up and flirting.  In fact, I have this feeling that they eventually did, or are in the process, of dating.  But the point was that he stopped really being the nice guy to others and fixing his attention on her. 

Are you thinking of me as I think of you?

Frankly, this is what bothered me.  I could totally tell the guy's a playa.  Guys have this radar for other guys, kind of like when other girls can tell if a certain girl is a bitch and no good for you or not.  Anyway. this guy was like a shark, circling his prey, making sure the coast was clear, and the minute he saw that all was free, he just dove in.  I mean why hide your true colors if that's what you are?  Why act all nice and respectful if what you really want isn't to be nice to the "guy friend" but to hook up with the girl he's with?  I would never be nice to a guy just because he's with a girl that interested me.  If he's a cool guy, then I'll be nice, but I wouldn't turn myself into a fake like that.  And I guess that's one of the reasons I'm not into the whole dating scene much.  It's like a mad rush of everyone for themselves.  To be honest, if I have to sink to a certain level to get a girl, to change who I am, it's just not worth it.

So I was talking to my friend about the movies recently, and I told her I like to watch a lot of romantic comedies.  The reason the issue came up was that she said her boyfriend wasn't interested in watching How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days.  I admitted to her that I find movies like Serendipity, Can't Hardly Wait, and A Walk To Remember very endearing and sweet.  She laughed and said I was into chick flicks! I guess I'm still into the idea that true love exists out there and maybe I can find my soul mate one day.  Anyway, I saw this television show on cable over the weekend, called The One.  No, not that cheesy Jet Li one, but some made for cable romantic movie.  I actually missed most of the movie, but there was a scene in there where the girl realizes the man she's going to marry isn't the one meant for her.  He doesn't know her dream wedding.  He doesn't know her favorite dessert.  And he doesn't her favorite movie.  The simple things.  IN the end, she ends up finding the one...

For all you girls out there, my favorite cartoon character is Donald Duck, my favorite color is blue, and my favorite movie is Serendipity.  And of course my favorite song is I Wanna Be With You =)
Thursday, February 13, 2003
I got my last class added today!  So if all goes well, I'll be taking the Comprehensive Exams on April 25th.  4 hours will decide if the past two years of my life have been a waste.  Looking back, I find it quite amazing that I ripped through what is the equivalent of the undergraduate and the graduate level computer science courses in a span shorter than some people take to get just their Master's.  In a way, I feel apprehensive, as if I've cheated myself of a normal education.  What if I rushed too much?  What if I missed out on some crucial detail?  Heck, just based on sheer practice time, I have less than I should at the Master's level.

Still, I have to feel pretty good about where I am.  At least I didn't lose that much time in Medicine.  And I think I'm doing a good job because I seem to be getting a lot of compliments from my professors when they recommend me to others.  Let's just keep our fingers crossed when it comes time to look for a job!

I had a long gap today and so I decided to take a walk around campus and gaze at the "scenery."  It had rained these past couple of days, and so the air ended up being really cool and fresh with the smell of wet grass.  I ended up sitting on a park bench eating my lunch as I watched people now and then walk by, busy in their own lives.  I was actually quite peaceful and for a moment, I felt more at ease than I've been in quite some time.  Maybe that's why I've been missing, some quiet time to reminisce and reflect on my life, out in the open air away from the computers and the labs that have become a trademark of who I am.

As I sat there, I had a chance to put my life in perspective.  I thought of all the things that have been bothering me, all the things that I let eat away at me, and when it was all over, I felt a nice burden being lifted from my shoulders.  After all is said and done, years from now, a lot of the things that I deem so important now probably will seem so trivial, as many of my high school memories look so foolish now.

I had a chance to think of all the girls that have come and gone in my life.  The girls I've liked, the ones I've loved.  The ones that loved me.  My ex's.  My what ifs.  My future.  I could expand on what ran through my mind, but then again, since tomorrow is Valentine's Day, I'll save this little psycho self analysis until then. 

Have a happy V-Day all you lovers out there!  And to all those single, cheer up.  It could be worse after all.  You could be in a horrible dead end go no where relationship with one who abuses you, is unfaithful, and steals all your money!  So smile =)
 
Tuesday, February 11, 2003

Happy Birthday to that special someone out there!  At first I thought that I should get you a nice gift...  I thought and I thought of what would be worthy of you, but like the saying goes, I guess there are just some things that money can't buy.  So instead I just wanted to call and give you my sincerest birthday wishes.  May you have a wonderful birthday surrounded by family and friends and may you receive all that you wished for and much much more!

I had a huge gap in between classes today and was extremely bored out of my mind.  I just wanted to thank E for keeping me company with your silly antics =)
Sunday, February 9, 2003
Did anyone see that All-Star game today?  Didn't it seem more like the Michael Jordan show?  It would have been nice for that last Jordan shot to have been the game winner but oh well.  By the way, Paul Pierce gets no respect!  He only played for like 10-15 minutes!  I sense a conspiracy going on hehehe.

I managed to go watch Shanghai Knights with my buddies... man that girl is incredibly cute!  I think at everyone scene that she came on the screen, I let loose a "whoa" =)  I won't say which scene it was, but there was this point in the theater when it seemed like the entire audience let out a loud gasp as well!  I think she's my new Asian obsession =)

So I went to the one month celebration of my nephew, where before eating I had to endure a 15 minute lecturing to about how now that I'm done with this Computer Science "playing" nonsense, I should think about going back to Med School.  And after dinner, I was told that with my capabilities, anything less than a Doctor is a waste.  I know they all have my best interests at heart, but when will everyone learn that I must travel my own path?  Every stream must carve its own path and I too must be my own guide.  It may or may not be a mistake, but at least it's my mistakes and not others.

I spent the day watching Co Gai Do Long, the third part of the Condor Heroes Trilogy.  Its English translation is The New Heaven Sword & Dragon Saber.  Have you seen it?  Anyway, I got to the tragic scene where the mother and father tragically commit suicide, but before dieing, the mother tells her son not to trust women.  She being beautiful, has told many lies, and she tells him that the prettier the woman, the easier it is to fool people.  The more beautiful, the more selfish and evil.  So how about it girls?  Are you going to defend yourselves, or is this observation true?
Thursday, February 6, 2003
For no obvious reason, I thought about Linda Park today, a girl that was brutally murdered here in Irvine back in 1995.  She was a girl that went to Irvine High School with me, and we even went to the same junior high school, and though I never knew her, I was saddened to hear about her loss.  Last year, I read that the police finally had arrested two men in connection with her death and are now under going trial, with the possibility of the death penalty if convicted.  Two acquaintances.  And the crime was heinous.  They allegedly tortured her for hours in order for her to reveal where her parents kept valuables and then slit her throat.  Her father came home to discover her blood soaked body face down on the floor, covered by a blanket.  As if the act itself wasn't horrible enough, they ended up stealing only $800 worth of jewelry.

Now what kind of world are we living in when a person could do such an act to someone that they know?  What's the value of a human life if you can just take it in cold blood for nothing more than a few pieces of jewelry?  How cold hearted do you have to be to even mediate such an act?  She was a daughter, a friend, a living and loving person and for me to be that upset with it without even knowing her, to still be upset... I can't even fathom how her family must have suffered.  It's times like these that come to me once in a while that really make me question humanity, that makes me wonder if we're in a living hell.  There's so much evil inherent in a person that sometimes I wonder why would anyone want to raise a child in such a cruel world?  Human beings in nature can be capable of such malevolent things that sometimes I feel ashamed to be a human being.   Frankly, I hope those two men get the death penalty, it's no less than they deserve. 
 
Wednesday, February 5, 2003
A friend of mine once asked me which I'd prefer, knowing someone really well before dating, like one of my close friends,  or meeting someone completely new to be my girlfriend.  That's a pretty hard question to answer when you think about it.  On one hand, there's probably nothing better than to hook up with someone with whom you share so much in common with and that you enjoy their company.  But are you willing to risk a friendship if anything goes wrong?  And on the other hand, what does it really mean when you look to a complete stranger for love versus that person who's been by your side for so long?  I guess there's no real answer that would make any sense.  If it were that easy, love wouldn't be such a difficult thing eh? 

I've been in love with a friend of mine before and it wasn't an easy feeling to control.  I didn't want to ruin any friendship we had, and to make matters worse, she was with someone else.  It's like a force you in opposite directions.  I wanted to see her happy, and knowing that she was with such a good guy who made her happy actually made me happy as well.  But there was always that empty envious feeling inside that wished it was me.  And the weird thing was, I honestly felt that he was the better person so I never spoke anything, though I know deep down she knew how I felt.  Luckily, our friendship managed to survive any tension that might have been built.  I think more than anything that the quote that this site revolves around is really dedicated to her.

The more I think about it, maybe I've been going about this all wrong.  Maybe opposites really do attract, and that it's the constant balancing out of each other's habits that keep opposites together.  Anybody here ever see The Legend of the Condor Heroes?  The main couple had a love that was so genuine and true despite the fact that they were almost completely different, with only their love as a common bond.  He was really naive and slow witted, yet kind and honest.  She was selfish and inconsiderate, yet intelligent and resourceful.  Together, he helped her gain her humanity and she helped him become a wiser person.  So I wonder if the reason you always hear about couples breaking up out of boredom is due to the lack of differences?
Monday, February 3, 2003
Bet you've been wondering where I've been eh?  It's been quite a while since I've found both the time and the energy to update this page.  It's funny that when there's no school, I find myself incredibly lazy and unmotivated.  I barely respond to e-mail, I never update my page, and I seem to always find other things to do with my time that don't seem all that productive when looking in hindsight.  But oh well, welcome back to me, and for all those people who normally come here to read my erratic thoughts on a continual basis, I just want to say hey and hope that you all had a great holiday season and new year!

So where do I begin to catch you up on things?  Finals came and went.  They were extremely difficult as usual, and for a while I was pretty concerned about the results.  Then sometime during the break, my grades came and I was elated!  I must have jumped up and down like crazy for awhile because I remember getting a  headache from having such a rush of joy!  Obviously I did well, thank you for your support =)  Now I have to focus on this final semester as the comprehensive exams approach, which will pretty much tell me whether or not I've wasted the past two years of my life.  I wonder if I should continue on for my doctorate.  Hmm, a PhD at 28, sounds mighty impressive doesn't it?  Hehehe, nah, I'm tired of school.  Time to get out there and start the rest of my life, I've been in school too long!

So that was last semester.  Outside of that, I went into the Christmas season lacking that usual sense of awe that I had as a kid.  Maybe it's different as you grow older, but Christmas seems to come and go so much faster now.  Anyway, my nieces, nephews, and younger cousins always seem to enjoy themselves, and I always do my best to get them something they want for gifts.  Every year my family gets together at someone's place and here are some pictures of the Christmas gathering my family had this year.  Beware as it has quite a few pictures so it might take a while to load.

So the Lunar New Year just passed.  Many call it the Chinese New Year, but since I'm not Chinese and so many people celebrate it, I'll choose to be more politically correct.  I visited my dad at the temple on Friday night to pay my respects and then on Sunday, my extended family got together so that all the children can honor their parents and their elders.  Likewise, we of the younger non-married group all got our little red pouches =)  The money helps, but I definitely like that ceremony more for it's cultural value than anything else.  Plus, it's the only time during the year when I see everyone being forced to speak Vietnamese.  It's quite funny!
 

School has started now and I'm entering what will hopefully be my last semester of school.  It looks to be a difficult semester though.  Those comprehensive exams are freaking me out!  In addition, it looks like I'll have to do several term papers.  And to top all that off, there's not a single cute girl in any of my classes.  Ok, let me be honest, there isn't a single cute girl in the whole department, except maybe for 1 or 2!  Isn't that utterly depressing?  I have three classes and I teach 2 classes.  In the three that I have, the guy/girl ratio is literally 12 to 1, and even those aren't all that hehehe.  As for the classes I help teach, the ratio is a bit better, maybe 10 to 1!  I miss the days of L and Kit Chan girl!  It's gotten to the point where I no longer look for cute girls, I look for girls that could be cute.  Shallow?  Maybe.  But I'll be honest, I miss having eye candy as I'm in class!

Don't worry, no one even holds a candle compared to MCAT girl!  I called you today to wish you a Happy New Year.  Hearing your voice lifted my spirits like no one could!  May you never change from the sweet person you are...

Shanghai Knights comes out this week, and I must say, that girl is sooooooooo pretty! 

Let me talk a bit about political events.  Bush gave his state of the union address a few days ago, and I found it completely idiotic.  He's nothing but a hypocrite, beating around the bush (pardon the pun), avoiding the real issues that have staggered the nation since he's come into office.  Can you believe that the result of two years of his effort have been 2 million jobs lost, a deficit of now $400 billion, a plummeting stock market and 1 million people without unemployment insurance compensation?  And he's not really trustworthy either.  All this war ploy seems like he has some ulterior motive behind it all. A poll came out today that I thought was hilarious.  83% of the nation trusts Collin Powell in matters involving the whole Middle East situation, whereas only 24% trust Bush,  What I wouldn't give for him to be out of office so we can get someone in the Presidency who will revive our once strong economy!

Finally, I just wanted to pay my respects to those lost on the space Shuttle Columbia.  People who know me well know that my deepest love besides computers and technology is without a doubt astronomy and the exploration of space.  There are nights when I just stare up at the stars, fantasizing about what lies out there.  Ever since I was a kid, being an astronaut has been a dream of mine.  It's because of all those astronauts and all those people at NASA that I still hold such fascinations to this day.  Doubtless if I feel this way, I'm sure there are many more young people who grew up dreaming of the final frontier.  It's because of this inspiration and the ability to instill wonder in others that makes those who gave their lives so wonderful, that makes them heroes.  May they rest in peace.